Thursday, July 22, 2010

Peas and Queues

Peep walked into the living room to find Rudy glued to the TV.  Well, not actually glued, but watching intently from her perch on the coffee table.  “Rudy, it’s 2:55 AM!!  Turn off the television.”  

“No way – my show is over in just five minutes.  Pipe down and let me watch.”  Rudy barely moved her head.  She didn’t want to miss a moment.  Peep sat patiently until the credits started to roll and Rudy sighed contentedly.  “I just knew that those two were pregnant.  No way they were suffering from food poisoning!  Natalie and Jessica pregnant.  Whoo!”  Rudy shook her head in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?  We don’t know any Natalie or Jessica.  And what is this about food poisoning?  Daddy may not be a great cook, but he isn’t about to give anyone food poisoning.”  Peep was thoroughly confused.  

“It’s my soap.  Who would have believed both were pregnant?  They just thought that David had tried to poison them.”  Rudy was still caught up in the show.  

Peep walked over to the remote and stepped on the power button.  “You shouldn’t be watching the TV at 2 in the morning.  Daddy is trying to sleep!”  

“Well, Daddy was home during my story yesterday.  I had to watch it – I was worried about those two.  I thought maybe they were going to die or something.”  

Rudy was an avid fan of One Life to Live.  Most of the time she could watch it during the day, but occasionally the Daddy was home and she couldn’t turn on the TV with him watching.  Cats aren’t supposed to know how to operate television sets, or for that matter follow soap operas.  In fact she was a bit embarrassed that Peep had caught her watching.  It would be one thing if it was a show about cats, or perhaps a documentary about something quite serious, but Rudy felt that soap operas weren’t in keeping with the image she portrayed.  

Luckily, Rudy didn’t know what Peep was thinking right then.  If she could have entered Peep’s mind she would have heard, “Soap operas – I should have expected that.  Rudy is all about drama – gossiping about other cats or imagining herself as the heroine in some sappy tale.  ‘Rudy rescued from pirates’, ‘Rudy, a princess raised by sheep’.  What Peep said instead was, “Do you really want Daddy to learn what we do when he’s asleep or not home?  I don’t and I know LT doesn’t.  You better watch your peas and queues, or we’ll be on David Letterman’s Stupid Pet Tricks.”  Peep stalked off to resume her interrupted sleep.

“Peas and queues?  Why would I watch vegetables and lines of people waiting for something?  I just don’t understand that Peep sometimes.”  Rudy snuggled down and considered Natalie and Jessica’s dilemma.  She drifted off to sleep imagining scenarios of babies switched in the hospital – enough of a plot twist to keep One Life to Live on for another decade, at least. 

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