Thursday, April 4, 2013

Looking for Help

The next morning Clem waited for the yarn lady to leave and turned on the television.  She was pretty sure the show Intervention was part of the On Demand feature with the cable company and she knew she had to do something about her catnip problem.  Again last night she’d gone overboard with the ‘nip and this time it was the sunroom that looked like a hurricane had hit.  She’d scattered bits of catnip everywhere and one of her favorite boxes was covered with claw and teeth marks.  She’d obviously gone bonkers and tried to tear it to pieces.  What to do, what to do?  She wished she could ask someone, but it was just too embarrassing.  Rudy would laugh at her for sure, and Clem didn’t think she could handle being laughed at right now.   She didn’t think Tatum would understand and Emma seemed too prissy to ever have such a thing as an addiction.  That was the extent of her cat friends, so there really was no one to ask.

Ah, yes, Intervention was available on demand.  She turned on the latest episode and watched it and then two more with horror.  These people destroyed their own and their families’ lives through their addictions.  Admittedly, none of them were to catnip, but as one of the intervention folks said, “A drug is a drug is a drug.”  And catnip was certainly a drug.  Well, at least it was probably a drug for cats. 

So what could she do?   She didn’t see herself checking into a fancy rehab.  One, they probably didn’t admit cats and two, she didn’t have the money or insurance to pay for it.  There were other options, though.  The intervention folks also talked about 12-step programs, and said there were programs for just about any type of addiction.  One of the people who was having an intervention said that he’d done online meetings and that sounded good to Clem.  She could do online meetings, no problem.  She had the iPad, and had become quite good at typing.  As long as she could do them at night while the yarn lady was sleeping or during the day while she went out for a few hours it would be workable. 

Paw poised above the keyboard Clem thought about her search terms.  Recovery… catnip… cats… 12 step… online… meeting… addiction.  Those should do.  She snickered at the first result.  “My science fair project by Calista Headrick” and it was a diagram of how some girl tested when cats were most hyperactive by teasing them with catnip.  Nope, that surely wasn’t going to help her break a catnip addiction.  There were others that were much more promising.  Lists of recovery groups and meetings, recovery communities; she’d check into all of these.  First though she wanted to try a more advanced search.  She tweaked her search to make some terms required and a set a few terms for exclusions, so that she wouldn’t get sites that helped her learn to socialize with other cats or buy catnip, heaven forbid.  This resulted in only one result.  “Cats Anonymous – for cats by cats”

If Clem had fingers she would have crossed them, but she didn’t so she held her breath and touched the link on the iPad.  Please don’t let it be a joke, she thought.  Well, this was promising.  There were no fancy graphics that looked like they belonged on the I Can Haz Cheezburger site, just information on how to register for the site.  Create a username.  That was easy.  Clementine.  Password.  That was easy too; she used the same one for everything.  FancyFeast317, her favorite food and her birthday.  Email address, check.  Hit submit, and wait for the email. 

Clem stretched and helped herself to some crunchy food.  It might take a little while for her to get a response to her request and it wouldn’t do for her to agonize over her email, clicking it over and over to see if she had a new message.  Then again, she hadn’t checked her email in probably a week, maybe she should clean out her inbox so she could even notice when it did arrive.  There was the usual selection of junk email.  Catnip from Canada, well Clem certainly did not want any of that.  Earn a degree in mousing online.  How silly was that?  Who needed a degree in mousing?  Either you had it or you didn’t when it came to catching mice.  cHarmony – a dating site for cats.  She had to check that out.  “It is Probably Possible to Find your Soul Mate... But we don't care. Isn't it time you experienced the joy of falling in love with someone you just met and will never see again? This is the kind of joy that comes from superficial compatibility. And superficial compatibility is what forms the basis for every relationship at cHarmony.”  She snickered, even though she did believe in true love, if not soul mates.  She emptied the inbox and powered off the iPad.  It wouldn’t do to wear out the battery now when it might not be charged tonight.  Since it was for Clem’s use only, the yarn lady didn’t always remember to charge it.  It was time for a nap.  She’d exhausted herself with all this emotional turmoil.  

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