Wednesday, March 23, 2016

And the candidates are...

Wednesday morning Clem awoke to a very bleary-eyed Zeke staring her in the face. Next to her was a pile of paper, each page toothmarked where Zeke had bitten into it to drag it up onto the couch. “This is all of them. I couldn't figure out how to make the database program run, so I put all the results into a spreadsheet. Name, contact info, ratings on all sorts of things.” Having said this, Zeke flopped onto his side and covered his eyes with his paws. “I think I'll sleep for the rest of the day. It took me all night to do this.”

Clementine was impressed. She didn't think he'd be able to type his name without misspelling it, much less develop a spreadsheet to record all the information. Leafing through the list, she noticed something odd, though. Many of the cats (and other animals) had an entry in a column titled “PC”, and it was the name of one of the presidential candidates, or occasionally another name. She looked over at Zeke, but he was sound asleep so she figured she'd check out some of the emails herself.

It was a great surprise to see that many of these cats were as partisan as some of the Yarn Lady's Facebook friends. They wanted to be the First Cat only if the candidate they preferred was elected. She shook her head and even laughed a bit at some of them. Didn't these cats realize that this was their opportunity to be of service to their country? They might even succeed in bringing peace to the Middle East, if only all the relevant parties would come to the White House and be charmed into understanding how much better it was to be kind and loving, rather than constantly being angry.

Ah, well. Maybe she needed to expand her search beyond the DC metropolitan area. Perhaps a cat from, say, Montana would be a better idea. 

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