Tuesday, November 15, 2011

An emergency meeting of the Cat Club regarding turkeys

Rudy dreaded the idea of calling an emergency meeting of the Cat Club, but in good conscience she knew that she needed to help her friend Kid’s friend Lemuel.  LT had calmed down considerably since Friday night’s meeting, but she could see that he was still hurt by the cats’ reaction to his proposal.  She wondered to herself if perhaps he was beginning to suffer from a cat version of Alzheimer’s Disease.  The LT she thought she knew wouldn’t have gotten so bent out of shape because they didn’t want to elect him king, or czar or even Grand Poobah. 

She went to LT first; knowing that if he heard about it from Peep before she talked to him he’d feel justified in his hurt and resentment.  He agreed to the meeting, and offered to go down the street to Snoogum’s house to let them know.  They agreed to meet in the woods between Fuzzy's and LT, Rudy and Peep’s house as the Daddy would be in and out all day depending on his work schedule.  Fuzzy was under the porch with the Loaf Cat, so that notification was easy.  Peep was snoozing in the living room.  She picked her head up and said, “Come get me when you’re ready – I’m gonna nap until then.”  That left Rudy to go get Greymalkin.  She almost hoped that Greymalkin wouldn’t be able to get out, as she was the one most likely to set LT off. 

Greymalkin was not only out, but was eager to tackle the problem, so they ran back at top speed.  Rudy stuck her head in the cat door and yelled for Peep, and swept up Fuzzy and Loaf Cat on her way to the woods.  This was a record – all cats assembled in less than half an hour.  LT had agreed to let Rudy lead the meeting, since she had the most information.  She started by saying that this was an emergency meeting to discuss only the turkey emergency, and that any other business or protocols were not going to be followed.  Since she’d discussed this with Greymalkin on the way over, there was no objection. 

Rudy explained the problem in as much detail as she had and asked for ideas from the club.  Surprisingly, Peep was the first to speak.  “I was thinking about this when you first mentioned Bart not wanting the turkeys to hatch their eggs, but since we thought they were using incubators I didn’t bring it up.  The place that the Mommy stays down in Mary Land is a farm with horses and chickens and dogs and cats.  I bet Miss Bobby, the lady who runs the farm would love some turkeys.”

“Great idea, numbskull,” Fuzzy sneered.  “Wild turkeys can barely fly across a field.  How are those fat over-bred farm turkeys supposed to get there?”

Peep had thought the problem out and had a solution to this.  “You know the Mommy isn’t coming home this weekend, right?  She’s staying in Mary Land.  And when the Mommy doesn’t come home, the Daddy goes down to see her.  All we need to do is get the Daddy to drive to Val’s house, and while he’s there we hide the turkeys in the truck bed and he drives them down to Mary Land.”  She was very proud of this solution, although she wasn’t quite sure how they’d get Daddy to go to Val’s house.  They’d probably have to enlist the yarn lady’s help for this one. 

She explained this to the other cats as they started to voice their reservations about the plan.  Ladybug wondered if the yarn lady could be trusted not to tell Peep’s Daddy that he was transporting turkeys.  Greymalkin worried that the turkeys would get sucked out by the air currents on the fast highways.  Rudy wondered if thirteen turkeys would even fit into the truck.  She skulked over to where it was parked and checked it out.  When she came back she said that they might fit, as long as they were squished in and none were claustrophobic.  Bunny declared that it was a marvelous idea but thought the turkeys were too stupid to know to stay in the truck.  Finally, LT squashed the whole idea by announcing that he didn’t think the Daddy was going to Mary Land this weekend.  He had so much business that he’d probably have to work though at least part of the weekend, and wouldn’t be able to afford two days away.   

Peep looked crushed.  It was such a perfect plan, but it definitely relied on the Daddy going to Mary Land this weekend.  It’s not like this was a project that could wait until Christmas.  She muttered, “Never mind.  It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway.” 

LT smiled at her and told her that it was a well-thought out idea, and if the Daddy was planning to go, he was sure it would have worked.  He looked at Rudy and said, “Unless those turkeys fancy flying away and living off the land, I can’t think of any ideas.  Maybe we should just think about how we’re going to make Kid feel better when it does happen.  I sure hope Val isn’t planning on cooking a turkey dinner this Thanksgiving.”

Nine heads nodded when he said that.  Turkey on the dining room table would be the last straw for Kid.  Loaf Cat thought out loud, wishing that one of them had a credit card, and they could send Kid a nice fresh salmon from Alaska.  She’d seen commercials about that on television when she was a kitten, and had always wished someone would send her one.  Rudy, LT and Peep looked at each other.  They’d used the Daddy’s Paypal account several years ago to order turnip seeds.  He’d taken the password off the computer, but maybe it was written down somewhere.  By glances and tail flicks they communicated that they’d look into it. 

Greymalkin proposed a road trip if nothing could be found to save the turkeys.  Perhaps a visit from all of them would cheer her up.  Rudy explained the actual distance to Val’s house and LT talked about how long it had taken him to walk just to Lakehurst, and the road trip idea was abandoned.  They liked Kid, although they'd never met her, but didn't like her that much.

Unfortunately, no one had any other practical ideas, although Fuzzy proposed some novel cooking techniques for turkeys and was told that his comments were in bad taste.  He sniggered and said that he thought the turkeys would taste just fine. 

Rudy promised to update the group at the meeting on Friday, or pass along any information she heard before then and the emergency meeting was adjourned.  Rudy went to sit with the Daddy as he worked on a truck he’d brought home.  The sun was warm and there was a light balmy breeze.  She was glad to enjoy the weather, and also glad to have the excuse of his presence to postpone writing her reply to Emma.

Bacon coated turkey




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