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FROM:
SUBJECT: Re:Question about turkey breeding (and no I’m not kidding)
Turkeys? Sounds delicious! The yarn lady cooks me up some chicken every now and again and I love that. If Bart kills all the turkeys, do you think you can get me some? The yarn lady says she’s going away for Thanksgiving, so there will be no one here to cook turkey for me. And why would you want to save turkeys anyway? I’d like to chase them and try to catch them. I look out at the birds on the lake every day and wish the yarn lady would let me go and catch them. I bet I could catch a Canada Goose, right? I’d even get wet to be able to pounce on one of them, and I hate getting wet.
But it would be good if Bart let the turkeys hatch more poults. I bet they’d be way fun to chase, since they’re little. Kid, how many poults have you caught? I bet you eat them for snacks all the time.
The yarn lady has been out for a while and I’m kinda hungry, so I’m sorry if this reply has been kinda food happy. She left me a dish of crunchies, but I’d really rather have something squishy that I can sink my teeth into. Tuna maybe, or that salmon and shrimp thing she gives me sometimes.
Well, byeeeee!
Clementine
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TO: FROM:
SUBJECT: Re:Question about turkey breeding (and no I’m not kidding)
Hi, Emma. Tatum here. You’re right, I don’t have any experience with turkeys, and neither does Ursula, but the noisy girl does some volunteer work at a farm with chickens every week, so maybe if I tell you about that it will help. I’m not sure what you mean by doing something different with the eggs, but the noisy girl does work with eggs.
Every Friday the yarn lady takes her over to a farm in Howell called Celtic Charms. They do riding lessons for people with disabilities, but they have all sorts of other animals there. There’s a pot-bellied pig named Jake, a cat named Irish, a whole bunch of dogs, a gazillion horses and two miniature horses that the noisy girl squees over. Oh, and there are chickens. Every time she goes there she collects all the eggs first. When she started going there she was scared to reach under the chickens to get the eggs because she was afraid the hens would peck her, but she’s learned how to do it and not get pecked. For a while the chickens were allowed to run around the whole place, but after they started taking over the neighbor’s yard, they were put back in a chicken run. They have a nice house and a tiny run, and there’s a fenced garden right next door to that, and they let the chickens hang out in there too. Once the noisy girl has found all the eggs she has to wash them to get all the icky stuff from chicken butts off of them. Then they’re sorted by size and she puts them into the egg holders that they’re sold in. The yarn lady says they’re really good fresh eggs. She buys them for her baking, and says they work really well. So, I don’t know if maybe Bart is sorting them differently or not washing the stuff off, but that’s really all I know about the chickens. Well, and that the noisy girl’s favorite chicken is named Peggy. She helped take care of Peggy when she got hurt a few months ago and couldn’t be with the rest of the chickens. Now she’s all healed up, and there’s a rooster that all the other chickens hate and Peggy and the rooster spend all their time together. I don’t know the rooster’s name.
Well, I hope this helps you. Maybe if my beloved Daddy had let the noisy girl adopt all those chickens this summer I’d be able to help you more. She really wanted those chickens, but my beloved Daddy was afraid we’d get a blizzard and the chickens would freeze to death before he could shovel a path out to their coop. Personally, I think he just didn’t want to clean up chicken poop.
Ttfn, Tatum
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TO: FROM:
SUBJECT: Re:Question about turkey breeding (and no I’m not kidding)
Hi, Runa here. I haven’t heard from you guys since all that hoohaw over that lawsuit last fall. I hope you don’t hold it against me that I signed on to it. Well, it didn’t come to anything anyway. I didn’t even get any extra dog biscuits out of it.
My humans had sheep. By the time I came to live here there was only one old one left, and she was well beyond breeding years. I think that a long, long time ago the humans had geese, but they got caught and eaten by all the wild things that live around here. Foxes, coyote probably. Maybe even a bear, except I don’t know if bears eat geese. The only reason I even know about them is that Eric, the oldest of the humans’ pups mentioned them one day.
As an AKC registered German Shepherd who is dam to seven award-winning AKC registered pups, I can tell you that breeding is a science. The care that I received during my breeding years was excellent, other than perhaps too many visits to Tibet. Poked, prodded, weighed, pills stuffed down my throat. My, my, I do not miss all that. But since dogs do not lay eggs, I really cannot help you with your turkey problem. Perhaps if you wanted pointers on how to teach manners to puppies I could help. My little ones were the best mannered pups on the farm, as well as the most beautiful, and they have the ribbons to prove it.
Well, good luck to your friend Lemuel. As much as I enjoy my bit of turkey each Thanksgiving, I would not want to eat a friend.
Runa
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