Saturday, June 30, 2012

Clementine's Revenge

Clementine was completely fed up.  The yarn lady had spent entirely too much time over the last month sitting at her computer writing.  Writing about other cats.  She always read what she wrote out loud, which was entertaining, but this time she wasn’t even in a single one of the chapters she’d written.  So the yarn lady had not only ignored her, she’d snubbed her.  Clem had loved it when the yarn lady had written of her learning about Christmas, because she was writing things that actually happened to the two of them together.  This was something else entirely.  Other cats had adventures, but never her.  

Being both an indoor cat and an only cat limits the opportunity for true adventure, especially when you live somewhere that’s vermin-free.  Clem couldn’t even chase and catch real mice.  It was rare for even a bug to get in the house.  While other cats roamed their yards and nearby properties, Clem roamed five rooms (if you counted the bathroom).  Yeah, the yarn lady would let her hang out in the sunroom and garage when she asked, but that hardly counted as adventure.  And with her human’s allergies, the windows were hardly ever open.  All this was a recipe for boredom and frustration. 

Admittedly, the yarn lady was home most of the time, and did throw yarn balls for her and was generous with snuggles.  And she did leave lovely knitting projects around she could dig her claws into.  It wasn’t adventure, though. No one offered Clem the chance to go to Kansas for a month.  She never got to rescue turkeys from becoming Thanksgiving dinner.  All she had were one human and a lot of yarnballs. 

Clem was at the age when a cat wants to go out and conquer the world.  Things like exploring, adventuring, having kittens or starting her own business.  She wasn’t a kitten anymore – she was all grown up.  Clem raced around the house looking for something to do. 

The yarn lady had gone out and she had the house to herself.  For starters Clem decided to check her email.  That was usually good for a laugh, but today all it contained was an email from Rudy saying how glad she and LT were to be home again.  Clem ground her teeth and hit the key to close her email.  She wanted the opportunity to *go* somewhere so she could come home again – and a trip to Tibet definitely did not count. 

There was a pile of papers in front of the computer monitor.  Clem looked at them to see if they were anything interesting.  It was ‘Journey to Pottawatomie’.  The yarn lady was editing it so she could publish it.  This was the last straw.  Clem dug her claws into the top sheet, anchoring it place with her back paws.  She shredded first one sheet and then another.  It was so satisfying.  There was a pile of shredded paper all around the computer when she was done.  There – that would show the yarn lady what she thought of the other cats’ adventures. 

Clem went into the bedroom to use the iPad.  It was easier for her to use, and there was too much of a mess around the computer anyway.  She checked what tabs were open in the browser.  The yarn lady’s blog – pah!  Weather in Westmoreland, Kansas – grrr!  She closed them all and decided to do her own search for adventure possibilities for cats.

Egypt.  That was a good place to start, since that was the first place cats allowed humans to live with them and also because the ancient Egyptians knew that cats were beloved of Bast.  Sites on modern Egypt didn’t have anything about cats, but some historical ones did.  Clem left that tab open and figured she’d come back to it. 

Hmmm, Japan liked cats.  They make those statues of a cat with his paw held up.   Clem looked up the Lucky Cat and found they were made because an emperor was saved from a horrible accident because a cat waved at him and he stopped to admire the cat (smart man).  Something terrible happened where the emperor would have been standing if he hadn’t been stopped by a waving cat.  She left that tab open too and started another one. 

The yarn lady had told someone how much she’d liked visiting London some years ago so Clem looked that up to see if there were any famous cats there.  She didn’t find any current ones, but there was a doozy from way back when.  Some kid named Dick Whittington had a cat he loved, but he sent the cat to sea because he was so good at catching rats (and one of the men Dick worked with was picking on the cat).  Well, the cat caught so many rats that Dick got rich and became Lord Mayor of London.  Personally Clem thought the cat should have gotten rich, but maybe London had laws against animals owning property. 

Oh, there were marvelous places in the world and adventures to be had, but not if you can’t get out the door.  Clem put her head down, and day dreamed of places she’d go, people she’d meet and fish she’d eat.  The ceiling fan whirred overhead, and her daydreams became real dreams. 

When the yarn lady came home she discovered Clem’s destruction.  The rough draft of ‘Journey’ was strewn over the computer desk and the surrounding floor, much of it in shreds.  She knew Clem had done it, there was no one else here, and a burglar wouldn’t have bothered to shred paper.  She looked for Clem, expecting to find her hiding out somewhere, fearful of reprisal.  She wasn’t in the living room closet or on her favorite shelf in the back of the linen closet.  The yarn lady went into the bedroom and found Clem sound asleep on the iPad.  Funny, she didn’t remember leaving it quite in that spot.  As angry as the yarn lady was, she wasn’t going to disturb her sleeping kitty.  She quietly went into the living room and set about figuring out what pages she’d need to reprint.  A conversation with Miss Clementine would have to wait until later.  

No comments: