Marianne Williamson - (Former) Cat Owner

Princess Clementine, Political Correspondent for Animal Rights

Thu August 29, 2019

As I mentioned in an earlier report, my coverage of the candidates is currently limited by my tiny travel budget.  I was able to wangle a miniscule amount of money out of the yarn lady, but she made it clear that there were to be no last minute trips like in 2014 when I went to South Carolina, where I was bamboozled into believing a tall pile of pine needles was a presidential candidate and then charged $2500 for a half hour ride back to the airport.   

I’ve been tracking the candidates’ schedules and saw that Marianne Williamson was scheduled to appear in New York City at the Roxy Hotel on 8/28, so I finished my preliminary research on her and arranged for my transportation into NYC.  This was a private fundraiser, so I also had to consider how to get in. After hours of fruitless thought, I decided I’d just need to be a cat and walk in with my tail held high. 

Candidate Williamson is running in the Democratic primary, and to date has raised over three million dollars.  The latest polls show that only 1% of voters are planning to vote for her, but after reading her candidacy website I think it will increase once people know more about her platform.  She has very positive positions on many of the issues, and seems enthusiastic and quite sure that she can implement her policies.  I’m not sure how easy that would be, considering how much argument goes on in Congress, but maybe her hypnotic voice will lull them all into working together.

Ms. Williamson’s views on animals are clearly stated on her website, although it was a bit disturbing to find them in the section titled “Food”.  To start, she says “..the mistreatment of animals is damaging to the American soul.”  I agree with her 100% on that.  The mistreatment of any being is damaging to the perpetrator’s soul, and so any systemic mistreatment of animals would harm the collective American Soul.  Furthermore, she writes, “each of us must examine, carefully and soulfully, how our dietary choices not only affect our bodies and our planet, but how they literally affect the animals themselves.”  She doesn’t go as far as the Humane Party, but I don’t know that she is vegan, so that would make sense. 

Other than the statements on her website, there is precious little about Marianne Williamson and animals, other than her regrettable comment to a child interviewer who asked if she had any pets.  “I had a cat.  The cat died.” It shows that at some time in her life she might have had some interest in an animal as a companion, and all cats do eventually die.  It doesn’t speak a lot to her ability to talk to children, or any human.  In speaking of Zeke the yarn lady says, “I had a fluffy orange goofball of a cat named Zeke.  He was the man in my life, but sadly he died suddenly last year.”  It’s funny and touching.  She cared about Zeke, and you can tell that.  I’m glad that she refers to him as the man in her life and not something like the love of her life, because that’s me. 

Aside from animal issues, Marianne Williamson says she will establish a Department of Peace if elected President of the United States.  Its mission will be to promote peaceful ways of resolving problems between individuals, groups and nations.  A quick survey of US Departments and Agencies shows that there is no one agency tasked with finding ways for humans to get along.  Considering the number of humans and the problems I’ve observed with them waging war or simply coming to blows over a mis-heard comment, a Department of Peace actually sounds like a good idea, providing it doesn’t turn into an Orwellian “Ministry of Peace”.  (Who says cats don’t read classic literature?)

So, to recap my evening at the Roxy with Marianne Williamson, I’ll start off with saying that she is as dynamic in person as she is on her videos.  She’s a cross between Sally Fields in the Flying Nun and Jane Fonda in her workout videos.  Lots of optimism, lots of enthusiasm, but like both of the actresses named above, also kind of weird.  Her speech was full of high concepts and rosy clouds painted with her hands in the air but a bit short on specifics. 

I was able to get into the gathering simply by walking in next to a particularly outlandishly dressed couple.  I’m actually not sure they were a couple, but they were two oddly dressed people who walked into the room together.  They looked like the kind of people who might be accompanied by their faithful feline companion, so I fulfilled that role.  No one even looked twice at me.  It turned out that they were among the elite supporters of the fundraiser, so they were able to meet and talk with Marianne privately before the event quite got started.  I sat there next to them as they all chatted, and was graced with a “Oh, what a lovely kitty!  I had a cat, you know.”  One of the humans I’d attached myself to replied awkwardly, “ah, yes, we’d heard that.”  Marianne blithely went on to discuss envisioning possibility or some such, and then moved on to the next elite supporter. 

I wandered off and looked for a good spot to watch the presentation by Marianne and Dave Navarro, the artist who had organized the fundraiser.  I discovered a stand shrouded in a large blue cloth, and worked my way under it so that I was just peeking out at the stage area, currently occupied by a pleasant jazz trio.  I think I may have dozed off for a bit, because the next time I looked up, the Jazz Trio was gone and the PA system was announcing Dave Navarro.

Dave bounced up onto the stage and began speaking enthusiastically about Marianne and what she could do for the country if she was elected President.  He wove his art through his speech and said how she’d inspired him to create a piece for her candidacy.  He bounced over to the stand I was under and whisked off the blue cloth (maybe it wasn’t such a good spot to watch and yet be unobserved).  And there I was, lying in front of a full-size representation of Marianne speaking at a podium. 

Applause broke out, along with a bit of laughter.  Both Dave and Marianne looked a bit insulted at the laughter until someone called out, “There’s your cat, Marianne – and he looks fine to me.”  Only a few people laughed at that, and Marianne came over to me, scooped me up and put me on the podium where she was to speak in a few moments.  Dave continued his remarks on the piece and how he hoped that it would help bring supporters and funds to Marianne for her campaign.  Meanwhile, Marianne leaned over the podium and said, “Kitty cat, you are the ultimate photobomber.  This was my moment to connect with my base through art, and now they’ll remember the cat, not me.  So, you’re going even the scales by sitting here on this podium while I make my speech, and when I scratch behind your ears, please do not claw me.  You owe me that much.” 

Since I was mortified by being caught catnapping on the stage, I agreed to her demands with a demure “meow” and reached out to touch her fingers with my nose.   When Dave had finished, Marianne spoke for about fifteen minutes about her ideas of how she could make America a nicer country and how she needed the help of people in the room to realize her dream for America.  She’s definitely a person who speaks with her hands, but one would occasionally come down and gently scratch behind one ear or the other, and when she discovered how soft my fur was, she buried one hand in my fur and made tiny little circles with her fingers, just like the yarn lady does.  I purred, because it felt nice and also because she seemed like a very nice lady. 

When she finished speaking, Dave Navarro said, “let’s have a round of applause for Marianne Williamson and, uh, the cat.”  When the applause died down, he asked, “Whose cat is this, anyway?”  I recognized my exit cue and giving Marianne’s fingers a farewell sniff, I jumped down and sauntered toward the exit, skirting the guests who were trying for a last minute photo opportunity with either Marianne, Dave or both of them.  I was able to make a clean escape and was upstairs with a few minutes to spare before my ride arrived.  A doorman let me out with a nod, saying “Be careful out there, kitty.  There are some mean cats in this town and you don’t want to go home all battered.”  I meowed in thanks, and conscious of his warning, waited close to the entrance of the building until my ride arrived. 

In closing, I must say that Marianne Williamson is a lovely person with a good positive animal agenda.  She also knows how to give a cat a really good head-scritch.