Princess Clementine, Political Correspondent for Animal Rights
Wed August 21, 2019
As
I was looking over the candidates for the presidency who have reported
contributions I couldn’t help noticing that most of them were Democrats. There were a few Green Party Candidates, some
Libertarians, one Non-Party and a small bunch of Republicans. I wondered why there wasn’t something like an
Animal Rights Party, so I did a little research on it while the yarn lady was
out of the house for the afternoon. I
found mention of a US Animal Rights party established in 2011, but it seems to
have gone toes up already, as it billed itself as a virtual political party…yet
its website has expired. It’s hard to be
a virtual party if you don’t have a presence in cyberspace!
Then
I found the Humane Party. Since I was adopted
by the yarn lady from an animal shelter (although not the Humane Society), I
figured that would be a political party that would speak for the rights of cats
and dogs, as well as other animals.
Well,
they might, but if they managed to elect a president and implement the items in
their platform, house pets all over the country would likely be in worse shape
than they are now. They are a vegan
political party and would abolish ownership of animals, prohibit their use or
slaughter for food production as well as establish a system for animal
guardianship through the courts.
Cats.
Are. Carnivores. I need my daily ration
of meat, poultry or fish, or I’ll get sick.
I don’t think there is a healthy vegan diet for pets, and my household
does not contain vermin sufficient to satisfy my nutritional needs! In fact, other than the young raccoon that
visited a few years ago (who I knew better than to tussle with), we’ve had a
total of one sighting of a critter, a small vole.
Well,
since most animals can’t directly communicate their needs (I guess they don’t
have Facebook pages like I do), the Humane party proposes that after animals
are emancipated, interested parties may apply to the courts to be appointed
guardian for an animal or group of animals.
Which court? Family court usually
deals with guardianship issues, so probably them. What if I need to go to Tibet and the yarn
lady can’t afford to apply for guardianship, or is awaiting a court date? I could suffer or even die!
What
about spaying and neutering? I have to
admit that from what I’ve seen and read that we are at the mercy of our biology,
or zoology or whatever -ology is correct.
Females go into heat, males come running, and the poor female doesn’t
get much choice in the matter unless a human locks her up in a safe place. By their logic, someone would need to apply
for guardianship for stray cats in order to run a trap, neuter and release
(TNR) program, or even to spay or neuter their own housecat! I know from what the yarn lady has said that sterilization
of humans under guardianship requires additional legal steps, including
applying to the court for special approval.
It’s expensive enough to just get the operation, but add several layers
of court costs…we’ll be overrun with stray and feral cats and dogs. Bad idea.
Their
logo features a romping cow, presumably running free. In the Humane Party’s future world all
animals will be emancipated, including hundreds of thousands of cows, chickens
and pigs who are raised for food. I’m
not sure where Bossy the Cow will run free, considering the concentration of
cow feed lots in the mid-western part of the country. Nebraska had an estimated cow population of
36,000 in 2012. That's going to result in a lot of cow patties for people to step in. And what about the 15 million
chickens in Delaware? I doubt the folks
who ran the farms will continue to provide feed and staff to care for their
newly emancipated livestock. Every home
in Delaware will be overrun by hungry chickens, providing the poor things can
walk that far.
So,
whoever the Humane Party nominates for President for 2020, as an intelligent
cat I cannot in good conscience vote for him, her or it. (Who knows, maybe they’ll nominate a cow?)
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