December 23rd

 

BC read the morning’s emails out loud, so Sparky would know what had come in. There were four ads for catnip from Thailand, since everyone knows that they grow the best catnip. There were the usual ones from women who thought Rudytoots was a male human who liked deformed females with only two mammary glands, notices that her package was undeliverable and an appeal to donate money to a dog rescue.  As if. Archie had sent an email saying that tonight's troll had left him yummy dog food in a dish even, and had left mice for the cats, although Benji wouldn’t let the grown kittens eat them, saying they might be poisoned.  He said they’d apparently stolen all the expensive meats from the grocery stores, so hopefully the yarn lady and MR had already purchased their Christmas dinner meat. 

Clementine’s said that this troll was called Ketkrókur, which meant “meat hook,” and that he used a hook to reach down the chimney and steal meat where it was cooking in the fireplace, except no one did open-heart cooking anymore, although the yarn lady said she’d done it for a few years when she was much younger.  Putting the information from the two emails together, obviously Ketkrókur was a meat thief. And yes, MR had bought everything she needed for Christmas dinner already so that wouldn’t be a problem.

Sparky heard “meat hook” and headed for the bedroom, saying she should never have come out from under the bed. Last night she’d dragged a throw blanket under there and hopefully it still was so she could be at least marginally comfortable. BC wasn’t sure she had the better idea, but he decided he’d wait up and see what this meat hook guy was about.

It was very late when the door from the deck opened and a nattily dressed troll strolled in.  “Good evening, BC, I’m glad you’re awake. I’ve heard such interesting things about you.” The troll winked at him. “As you can see, I have no meat hook, and I will not be stealing your holiday dinner. That is a barbaric tradition, and not at all in line with modern society. Instead, I come to bring you meat, cat food meat since you are cats. I procured fine beef entrees for you two, it even says they were crafted by cats, although I’m not sure if that’s true. You should go get your friend Sparky so you aren’t tempted to eat hers.”

BC ran and told Sparky about the fancy cat food, and she hesitantly came through the kitchen. The troll was standing away from the food he put down, and yes, there was no meat hook in sight. BC lifted his face from the bowl and said, “This stuff is great, Sparky. Ketkrókur, can you leave the package here? Maybe the daddy will buy it for us.”  Ketkrókur pulled the package from a bag he held, smoothed out the pouch and left it next to the bowl.

The troll watched them enjoying the food and said, “This whole Jólasveinarnir idea is so terribly outdated. I understand that Gryla has been around for nearly a millennium, but there is no reason not to change with the times! I agreed to accompany the band this year in the spirit of research, to find out exactly what it is we encounter and if it has anything to do with our traditional tasks. I’ve been watching the others every night, and this whole thing is laughable! The world has changed so much and we’re stuck in the early Middle Ages. Good grief, I should probably be hauling around a bronze meat hook! I want to bring enlightenment to the summer gathering of the trolls. Rather than the usual ribaldry and contests of brute strength, we can have discussions of what we want our purpose to be in this third millennium of the Common Age.” He sighed and his shoulders drooped. “They’ll probably laugh me out of the gathering, but if they do, I plan to enroll at Háskólinn á Akureyri to study Social Sciences. I hope to be the first of the Tröllategund to earn a college degree. I'm sure I can be funded as an Indigenous student.”

The cats had finished and were listening to him intently. He was certainly quite different than the other Jólasveinarnir. He talked more like the yarn lady and MR and less like, well, a cave man on a TV cartoon. Sparky reached out a paw and touched his leg, saying, “You have a good mind and high aspirations. We wish you luck in your endeavors and thank you for the delicious dinner.” The troll nodded his thanks and let himself out.

Sparky looked at BC and said, “Wow, I sure wasn’t expecting that from a guy named Meat Hook. I hope there’s a way to change your name over there. He deserves a nice name like…Trausti.